I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
