Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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