Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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