Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
