you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We're using joints as your birthday candles
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize