i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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