Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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