She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
