so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize