Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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