Christians are straight up FREAKS
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
