Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
