yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Randomize
