Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
