if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Is it because I queefed?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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