nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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