Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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