We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
