we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
