I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We left the knife in your bed.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
