i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
