Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize