Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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