I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Randomize