Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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