I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
