Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
