I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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