Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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