I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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