Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
