Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
