my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.