Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.