I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
