why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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