Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
