they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
