I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
