Sponge bath it is.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
