THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
it's great music for shaving your balls
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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