I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize