we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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