I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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