this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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