either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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