omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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