I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
