note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
