Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize