nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize