I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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