Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
