It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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