I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
