What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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