He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
They have beer where we have blood.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
