Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
