ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
